Funny Stephen King Commercial

by bsap11 @ "Surviving Grady"

It's all relative...

Photo courtesy of:
clickchick

Girl: That's a bit odd. Does he realize he's only going to see things in color, not in 3-D?

Guy: You didn't just say that.

Girl: What?

Guy: Well, how many dimensions do you think I am?

Girl: One.

Show me yours... I'll show you mine

My cell wallpaper for almost a year...

Photo courtesy: Erin at Jason Varitek's Official "Unofficial"website.

btw... WARNING! Photo may cause loss of consciousness

Wild Things

Congratulations Boston Red Sox. I love saying that at the end of the season. It's either Wild Card or Groovy Banner, it's ALL good!
12 years* 6 months ago the Sox opened in Japan against the Athletics. I thought then, that it was unfair to both teams to have to break camp early and play on a different planet. I felt like someone had stacked the deck against the Red Sox. With that kind of start {and the injuries} and the sensitivity that Dice K has to travel, I figured we, the Nation, had a good excuse if they failed to make the playoffs. The really weird thing is that I wasn't that worried. Truly, we own the wild card. It's a given. It's ours {if we go one step beyond, we get the groovy banner} It's a habit. You know, like Arod choking.
I have been teased by a friend, all year about the DEVIL Rays. "Hey! When are they gonna die?? You said they would fold! What? Sox can't beat the Ray of sunshine??" ** The DEVIL Rays surprised me. But thanks to them, I can't even respect what they have accomplished as a team this season. Had they just played and talked about what a great feeling it is to be out of the cellar... Nope, what they had to do was get all uppity. Cocky. Smug. They beat us at the Trop and then played "Sweet Caroline" while the Sox Faithful filed out of that vile, sorry excuse for a ball park. They brought a knife to a fist fight. So, it comes down to one game. Am I worried? Nope. "We" played all season, hurt, tired, distracted and stayed in second place through it all.*** The DEVIL Rays season was an aberration. A cosmic mistake. For those of you following "Fringe"... a butterfly effect. I'm not worried. One game or another, we still playing in October. "Excuse me, Mr. Jeter? Can I carry that golf bag for you?"
I really can't help but wonder, what if:

• Papi didn't hurt his wrist.
• Mike didn't hurt his hip.
• Tek didn't mess with his swing and slump.
• Drew didn't hurt his back.
• Buchholtz didn't implode
• Oki didn't lose his pitch location
• Lugo didn't tear his quad... stop laughing!
• Schilling didn't hurt his shoulder.
• Colon didn't hurt his back during interleague play... {and lose his everlovingmind in the process}
• Ellsbury didn't doubt himself out of identifying pitches.
• Timlin didn't cut his finger and hurt his knee after that
• Coco didn't cut his hair****
• Everybody didn't get the flu... and strep throat... and the flu again.
• Manny had just been Manny and not listened to "Boris the Spider".

So much happened this season and the Red Sox just owned 2nd place. It blows my mind. Really, What if ???? Can you imagine? What ever happens, I'm proud of the Red Sox, everyone of them. The 9 on the field, the band in the Pirate Ship. The Dudes on the bench, always ready. The skipper, the owners, the mascot, the beer guys... everyone of them. Excellent work. You guys did enough to get a us a few more games before summer is officially over.*****


* It sure feels like it was 12 years ago! It has been a very long season.
** My ex friend survived his initial injuries and my court ordered house arrest would have ended on Monday, however... police say the know for a fact that my house was the last place he was seen alive... I might need some help with bail...
*** Second is the new first ;-)

****He has forgotten the bible school story of Sampson!
*****Last day of summer is in Novenbah! Fascist calandar

R.I.P. "Keef"

Still miss you... 30 years later

Keith John Moon

August 23 1946 - September 7 1978

AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGH!

Blacked out AGAIN!!! I am SO fed up with MLB.Com! I ranted about this just a couple of weeks ago. I have not seen a single Red Sox/ Orioles game the whole year! They are playing at FENWAY tonight! Are you serious!?!? I live in the freaking foothills of North freaking Carolina! Fenway is 9 FREAKING STATES AWAY!!!!! Nine, the number between 8 and 10! Here is another freaking map! {it's down at the bottom. See ya when you get back} Oh, and just because I'm so pissed I'm counting NC as a state I have to drive through, I live on the border, it should count! In fact I'm so pissed I'm going to send this map to MLB.com! Only I'm going to take the LONG WAY to Boston! That's right! I'm going right through WASHINGTON FREAKING DC* on the way there! In fact, I'm going to stop off at the congressional building and slap some people around! WTF does it matter if we have instant FREAKING replay if we can't watch it the first FREAKING time??? I know congress doesn't have anything to do with instant replay, {yet} I just feel like slapping them around on general purposes. I just heard Coco cut off his braids! That makes this a historic game! I missed Manny's {I do miss Manny} HISTORIC home run at Camden Yards because of this stupid freaking blackout!!! I'm still pissed about that! I'm missing history! I'm paying through the nose and missing history! AND TEK HIT A HOME RUN!!! I keep missing home runs because of this! That's it, where is my bat? I'm crackin' skulls!** Where is MLB's headquarters anyway? I bet it's in NEW FREAKING YORK! That's where they keep all the idiots. Get outta my way! I have to go all the freaking way to BOSTON just so I can watch the game in a bar, {no way I can afford beer at fenway} I might as well stop in the NEW EFFING YORK and crack some skulls on the way there.
Damn. Kim just texted me and made me laugh. Well. That rant is over.

* with an an attitude
**not really, just venting do not call the police... or the fbi... or homeland security... or my mother.

{ started drinking at some point and this {{the following}} fell out. I don't remember where I had it and don't really care. I'm just tacking it on the end.}

Are Kidding ME??? This is SUCH crap! If I had a refund for every game I have been blacked out of this season, I could AFFORD to go to FREAKING FENWAY and see the freaking game in PERSON! I still couldn't afford the beer but still...

MLB.com can not possibly be going by the assumption that fans cheer for the geographicaly closest teams. That would be moronic. The Yankee fans are proof of that! They go to the games to BOO the yankees! The closest team to me are the Reds and the Braves. I am able watch every single one of their games if I wanted to. I watched 3 Reds games this year when the Res Sox had to do that ridiculas interleage play. I think that was the first and last time I say our pitcher, Colon. They made him swing a bat and he has been on the DL for like 4 months or something.*

*I'm much to pissed off to go looking for the exact dates and facts, screw it.

----------------------------------------------------------

{I wrote this to MLB.com. Note to self: I really should not BWI}

Can I change my address to Wyoming please? I'm positive I would be able to watch my Red Sox that way. The blackout rules are archaic and quite possibly, only imposed to make money of us without having to actually provide the service we are paying for. I know... "Read the TOS and the fine print and you only have 5 days to cancel and you MIGHT get a refund. Here is an idea. Instead of forcing instant replay down out throats, make it possible for us to follow our favorite team.

Tech Reply:"Actually, we are in the process of providing home and away feeds for video at some point this month. There is no definitive date yet."

My reply"

"Oh that's great news. Forgive me for sounding sarcastic but there are 25 games left in the season. We really could have used that option 137 games ago. I'm just saying... Blackouts have been an issue for a really long time. I find it fascinating that this will be rolled out just in time for the playoffs. Doesn't really help those fans who's teams don't make the playoffs. Will there be an extra charge for this option? Or will the fees go up again next season because of this? Again, I know this sounds sarcastic, I really don't mean it to be. {OK, I mean it to be just a little, but it's only because I'm incredible angry about this.} I am NOT directing this at you , more, sorta near you as you are an agent of MLB.com." {I resisted the urge to type EVIL agent of MLB.com}

The long suffering, patience of Job reply:

"I can understand your frustration, and the timing is a little tough, but it took some time to get the licensing agreements down."

Me:

"MLB.com really ought to let the fans help them out with that... I wouldn't mind sitting in on some of those meetings. I bet a meeting between MLB, owners, and a handful of fans with baseball bats... just kidding. It's a huge slow, step in the right direction. I bet lawyers screw it up."